


The Scenic Route

by lsem



Category: American Gods (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-08-11 22:50:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20161420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lsem/pseuds/lsem
Summary: Bilquis needs a ride to Lakeside, and Anansi happens to be available. While she never expected him to take her straight to Lakeside she hasn't imagined this much of a detour. Bilquis hopes they arrive quickly while Anansi hopes they can get there at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mini-fic? Yes, mini-fic. A couple chapters of Bilquis and Anansi trying to get to Lakeside and the constant roadblocks in their way.

It started with a few choice words and a request, she wanted to move where Shadow went and needed a ride to Lakeside. Anansi had tried again and again to convince her to turn away from Lakeside and Shadow but he knew that look on her face, she was as stubborn as he was and for whatever reason she needed to be there. So he finally gave in, taking his hat off his head and twirling the sparkling car keys in his hand and walking around to open the passenger door. 

"It has been a while since we've been on the road together."

"Don't remind me." She said and slid into the car. "I remember the last time you nearly got us killed."

"It wasn't my fault, how was I supposed to know he couldn't drive a carriage and laugh at a joke at the same time?" He said and started up the car. "So you got your head stuck up Shadow's ass too?"

"Why do you give him such a hard time?" She asked as he pulled out leaving behind Mr. Ibis and Mr. Jacquel's Funeral Parlor. Bilquis swore she saw Anansi and Ibis lock eyes, and there was passion and fondness there. She wondered just what war those two were locked in and how she could work it to her own end. 

"Like he doesn't deserve it."

"He doesn't know." Bilquis said, none of the humans truly know. They suspect and so they pray to them, all the while truly unaware of how powerful Gods really are. 

"We're Gods, 'Keda. All he has to do is ask the right question." He said, he dug into his coat pocket with one hand and placed a cigarette between his lips with another hand all without removing his hands from the steering wheel. 

"You know there's far too many ways around that pesky little rule." 

"He could try." Anansi said, "That's all anyone can ask for, just try. He's been led by Wednesday for far too long. Even he has to see that bodies are starting to pile up.”

"And you seek to lead him?"

"No, you do." He said and lit the cigarette, "What does he have on you?"

"What makes you think he has anything on me?”

"I know that running up behind mortal men is yours thing-"

"-It is not my thing-" She said irritably, he never failed to find a new way to get under her skin. Sure, she had married many humans, but that wasn’t her  _ thing _ . It just was a better way to pass the time than letting herself become infected with bitterness.

"-But even you could pick one slightly smarter than that."

"Shadow is charming-" She said in the most dignified way.

"-And dumb as dog shit. He has to have something on you, so what is it?" He asked and she fished something out of her purse, a tiny card, he took it with one of his hands and chuckled to himself while reading the fortune. "Whatever super-mega-alpha fucking God is up there is having a good laugh at you. Look at you, Queen of Queens, Goddess of Goddesses, Mistress of the heart and the night and bound to that dumb motherfucker." 

"He's...learning." Bilquis said, she had to admit Shadow was a bit more oblivious than she believed any human had any earthly right being, but with her guidance she could work miracles. For a moment Eagle point pops into her mind, maybe she can work that to her own end as well. 

"You mean you plan on teaching him, right?" Anansi said.

"Tell me about your son." Bilquis said after the silence had overtaken them, she hadn't answered his card but there were many so-called wise Kings. She had shaped and molded them into something of value, he had watched time and time again and they always squandered it. Humans were so strange. 

"Spider is young and...confused about certain aspects of himself and me as well."

"He doesn't know what you are."

"He knows enough." 

"Like Shadow?"

"What exactly is your point, my Queen?" He asked, it is good that she can still find a way to irritate him as well. Anansi pretends to be above it all, that he is simply having a laugh at the world, it’s nice that she can see he’s not. 

"Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge Shadow. Your son could easily be in his place."

"I wouldn't carve my son up for sacrifice." Anansi said, "I would talk about your kids and choices but you don't got anymore."

"Good riddance, they got in the way of far too many things."

"Y'know, we could always have one. Ever imagine what our little Godling would be like?"

"Absolutely not." She said, but the silence is palpable and he can still read her like a book. They've known each other for far too long for him to not be able to read her.

"So you have." He said and snickered. If he wasn’t so insufferable she’d be more honest with him but for now she’ll hold onto her thoughts and feelings on the matters of Gods and Godlings.

"If I knew you were going to be so insufferable I would've just caught the bus."

"But you wanted to hitch yourself to my wagon." He said, "This is about more than Shadow, isn't it?"

"Maybe I missed you."

"We’ll see about that." He said and snickered again but she didn't join in, only placed her hand over one of his invisible hands and he nearly swerved and killed them both. She didn't fidget once, she intertwined their fingers and relaxed back against the leather seats. She knew it was going to be a long way to Lakeside, but it would be interesting nonetheless. 


	2. A quick detour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wingman, a pitstop, and a hotel room.

"You hungry?" He asked, they had been on the road for quite a while now. It was customary for them to offer sustenance to one another. Despite his empty gesture he knew she’d take him up on it. 

"Not for food." She said and squeezed his invisible hand lovingly. 

"I'm not turning tricks for you." He said after a beat of silence. 

"Come on, you were always the best wing man." She said. 

"I was pretty good," He said but quickly snapped himself out of it. "I'm giving you worship, what do I get out of this?"

"What do you want?"

"A Queen." He said and she is silent for quite a while, he lets the soft jazz fill in the thick gaps of silence but she doesn't let his hand go. An hour passes before she finally mentions she needs to use a rest stop. He is entirely unsure why but pulls over and misses the warmth of her hand on his, she promised to be right back he knows her too well at this stage in their Godhood. 

He lets a few minutes pass before he enters the gas station, walking through the cramped aisles to where he sees her flirting with a middle aged human. A parka, glasses, and an entirely forgettable haircut. At least he looks single. Nobody will miss him, hopefully. 

"... No, I'm not local I'm afraid." She said when he slid into the conversation with ease. This was always the fun part, rattling the sacrifice while their guards were down. 

"I leave your ass alone for five seconds, who the fuck is this?" Anansi said and looked angrily at the man and then back at her.

"He's nobody." She said, she fell into step within their act with ease. She dropped her head and looked away, feigning innocence while reaching for a snack. She held it up as if it could prove anything. “I came here for this.” 

"Why don't I believe you? You know what, I've had enough!" He said and turned quickly, "Find your own fucking way home." He stopped walking and turned quickly again, he pointed his finger at her before raising his voice. "And when you get home get your shit and find someone else to cheat on, I'm done!" He turned around and looked at the bewildered cashier. "Can you believe this shit? This the fucking thanks I get." By the time he makes it back to the car and starts it up she is already guiding the man into the bathroom. It isn't much longer when she leaves and is returning to the car.

"Something wrong?" She asked, she must've noticed the grave look on his face. 

"A little spider told me we're being followed."

"So?"

"So, how about a detour?"

"I need to get to-"

"I know, I know, Shadow Moon. But you're no good to him splattered across the road, and I don't like the idea of going to that big Mausoleum in the sky just yet." Anansi said, she mulled it over for a while before finally giving in. "I'll even give you an update on the boy and the girl."

"Girl?"

"Ruby." He said and nudged her playfully, "You took a liking to her."

"She's...nice. Refreshing. Kind." Bilquis said, and watched as he stepped out of the car, he walked around the side of the car and opened her door. He reached for her bag and she pulled it back from him, "What are you doing?"

"Taking your things, we're riding off in style."

"I don't see a saddle."

"You only need to hold on tight to me, I won't let you fall." He said and before she could voice a disagreement he spun out of his human form, taking the form of a hulking spider. She stepped from the car and straddled his back. 

"It has been a while since we've done this." She said and he galloped off into the night, they traveled on the sides of highways and through old, forgotten woods. They passed exhausted drivers and children in the backseats of cars, they took old abandoned roads in forgotten ghost towns. When Anansi felt it was safe they stopped near a seedy motel, at first glance it was the type with far too many people hanging around and not enough cameras. 

Once they get closer she can feel the aura shimmer over them. These are hallowed grounds, no type of war business can be handled here. The hotel stood three levels high and stretched the length of a full block. Gods came here to sulk, to relax, to gloat, and sometimes to hide. But she had no desire to return here. She and Piety have never seen eye to eye. Piety has always judged her for her worship and worshipers, while she rots away in this hidden little hovel. 

"Please tell me why you chose this hotel?" She asked, “We could’ve gone anywhere else but Piety’s place.”

“It’s the safest place.” He said as they approached the front desk of the hotel, “Now just sit back and let me do all the talking.”

“As if you’d let me do any other thing.” She said as Anansi wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder.

“Anansi! How great to see you!” Piety said, she was an older woman with fair skin, sharp brown eyes and her lips were curled upward in a permanent smile. She is the face that America wants to show, of manners and propriety, of morals and rules, but all she really is is a Goddess of illusions. Piety was a scam, one of the oldest ones in the book and the humans kept falling for it. Piety gave her a quick once over,“You’ve brought...company.”

“More than company, pi.” He said and chuckled, “We’ve tied the knot.”

“Oh thank the heavens I was starting to fear you’d never wed again, Bilquis. I know that it is just your way but I never agreed with your practice to begin with.” Piety said, she began to let all her grievances known as she led them up the stone steps towards the second landing. Bilquis looked from Anansi and then down to her hand, when had he slipped the ring on her hand? Why did it look so nice? She wondered if he pilfered it from some unknown location. The last thing they needed was to be flagged down by the cops 

“Why, I see you’ve never married Piety.” Bilquis said, her tone was laced with both curiosity and malice. On the outside she’d seem interested but it was a steaming accusation to those who knew them. 

“I’m married to my work.” Piety said. 

“Does that keep you warm at night?” She asked. 

“It’s fulfilling.” Piety said sharply, “I’ll see you soon, I suppose. Good eve.” 

“How dare that abysmal little wench comment about my worship while she rots away here in the middle of nowhere.” Bilquis said while surveying the room. “You could’ve at least warned me.”

“Would it have made it any better?” He asked. 

“I suppose not.” She said and looked around the room. For how insufferable Piety could be at least her establishment wasn’t awful. The rooms were clean, the lighting was decent, if not for the single bed she might not be as upset. “So, where are you going to sleep?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bedsharing and fake married couples? My favorite tropes! I took some inspiration from John Wick with the Continental. I know there are places within the American Gods universe where they don't fight but I liked it being a bit more hidden from human sight, only accessible by Gods or if a God wanted you to see it. I also like the idea of not everyone being stuck Bilquis' ass. There has to be a few out there who don't care and I could see Piety being one of them. 
> 
> Also Anansi is totally a good wingman, you can't convince me any other way.


	3. Whose side of the bed?

“...In the bed, with you.” Anansi said. 

“Surely you’re joking.”

“Is there some reason I cannot sleep in the same bed with you?” He asked while slipping out of his suit jacket. He tossed it across the room sending it sailing onto a waiting hook. He began to work on his cuff links next. “We are married now, it’s expected of us, we should even put on a show for Piety.”

“You wish.” She said and entered the bathroom, it was spotless. White walls. White towels. White shower and bathing tub, she looked inside cabinets and under the sink looking for anything out of place. One she was satisfied Bilquis began to draw a bath while he poked and prodded, trying to get a reaction out of her. 

“Oh, I dream of  _ only _ this when I close my eyes.” He said in that chiding and irritating way only he could. 

“Undressing in front of a Goddess?” She said and began to undress, putting her clothes away before stepping into the tub.

“Watching you squirm, tell me something.” He said, he leaned against the doorjamb of the bathroom while speaking. “You’ve taken many to bed--”

“But they are not there when I wake up.” She said sharply.

“You still a pillow princess after six thousand years?” He questioned, she scooped up some of the water from her bath and threw it at him. 

“What’s the real reason that we’re here? Did Wednesday tell you to get rid of me?” She asked as he wiped the water from his face. 

“Unlike almost everyone else around him,” He said while approaching the tub, he squatted down so they were eye to eye. “I don’t work for him, I know that it’s all lights and magic and bullshit.”

“So why do you hang around Wednesday?”

“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, and all that bullshit.” He said.

“So what does that make me?” She asked.

“My wife.” He said, he had been inching closer and closer to her. She suspected he was going to kiss her and she wasn’t entirely against the idea. Instead he had carefully placed his hand in the water and splashed her before stepping away.

“You’re going to pay for that.” She said.

“We’ll see.” He said while heading to the door, he stopped and looked over his shoulder before speaking, “Which side of the bed do you prefer?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter full of more tropes!


	4. Another storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anansi ponders his place in America and the next steps he needs to take, also a very interesting storm is rolling in.

The thing about adapting, about sticking with the times is that it leaves little time for true intimacy. Bilquis is always on the go, always careful, always watching and waiting to continue to preserve her place in the world. He has known her a long time, they have grown together in this world and the next. But she is changing, she is being worn down by the humans and their strange traditions. She’ll never admit it, but he sees it, he sees all whether Goddess or man wants him to or not. 

He doesn’t sleep much these days, his mind rumbles and runs in all directions and before he knows it the break of dawn is reaching his eyes. Even in her sleep she makes her way to him, starting on the far side of the bed and tossing and turning until she is curled comfortably against his side. 

Her obsession with Shadow and questions about Wednesday confuse him, Wednesday has never showed an open interest, but her need to adapt has placed her in an odd no man’s land when it comes to this war. Will it be the New Gods or the Old Gods? Will she cement her place on either side of the war? 

“Are you still awake?” She asked. The moonlight sunk in through their window, somewhere war was being waged but for the moment they were safe. Away from prying eyes he could relax, perhaps he had been on alert in this country for so long that he had forgotten how. Maybe Bilquis wasn’t the only one who put up a good face for the rest of the community. 

“I am always awake.”

“Sounds scary when you say it like that, you almost sound like a true God.”

“Why are you awake?” He asked, he was technically always awake, even when he slept his mind was roaming, collecting stories, re-writing stories that he didn’t like or people he found to be simply too boring. His dreams contained multitudes. 

“I told you I’m not used to waking up and finding someone beside me.” Bilquis said, “Might mean my _gift_ isn’t working the way it’s supposed to.”

“I think it works just fine.” He said and she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. “You know you’re free to leave at any moment, you don’t have to take this ride with me.”

“I know.” She said, “But I must admit I have to wonder what you’re up to. You’ve become more secretive, nothing like the Anansi I once knew.”

“I’m an open book.” He said, he sat up and grabbed the cigarettes from the night stand. “What do you want to know?”

“What keeps you here in America?”

“Could be you.”

“You were here long before I arrived.”

“True,” He said and lit the cigarette. “My worshipers are here.”

“You have worshipers everywhere.” She said, it was true, he kept up with other incarnations of himself. They did well, played the God game the way it supposed to be played. He hated that. Rules were mad to be broken, re-written and then broken again until every story was perfect. This story wasn't quite to his liking yet, but there was still time. 

“And what type of God would I be if I abandoned my people during their time of need?” He asked.

“Wednesday.” She said and they both laughed, “Come back to bed.”

“I thought you liked sleeping alone.” He said and blew smoke from his nose. 

“I thought I did too.” She said and patted the spot where he was laying. So they lay there and she tries to get him to say more than he feels he should, they’re not at the part of the story yet. He’s not sure when they fall asleep, only that he wakes up to being held by her. In the distance he can see Piety placing breakfast upon the table then slipping out just as easily. “Something wrong?”

“Yes. Another storm is brewing,” He said and sat up slowly, “And Sweeney’s here with that girl.” 

“He’s alive?” She questioned. 

“Depends on what your idea of alive is and just how you feel about aligning yourself with the living dead.” 


End file.
